Anderson, Pastor Steve
belief of that "every homosexual in the world is a deviant, is evil and is a predator"
prayers of for the death of President Obama
sermon entitled "Why I Hate Barack Obama" is delivered by so rabidly that one can imagine the spittle flying from the lips of
Bachmann, Representative Michele
supporters of are urged by to defeat health-care reform by praying and fasting
Barton, Mischa
evident assumption by that people are total imbeciles who'll believe anything
Calley, William
40-years-late apology is offered by
Cheney, Dick
claims by that the release of CIA documents would prove that the Bush Administration's enhanced interrogation techniques worked are, unsurprisingly, not borne out by release of said documents
Obama is accused by of oh, this is sweet politicizing the Justice Department
CIA
approved enhanced interrogation techniques of included "prolonged diapering"
Dowd, Maureen
bloggers who post snarky things on the Internet without signing their names are scolded by
Dunne, Dominick
death of at the age of 83
Ebert, Roger
30 years of sobriety are chronicled by
Greenwich, Ellie
death of at the age of 68
Herger, Representative Wally
nut who stands up at town meeting hosted by and refers to himself as a "proud right-wing terrorist" is lauded by as "a great American"
Jackson, Michael
coroner's ruling that death of was a homicide conflicts drastically with report of the supersecret still aliveness of
Jenkins, Representative Lynn
statement by that Republicans are looking for a "great white hope" is followed by explanation by that "I was unaware of any negative connotation" attached to the phrase
Jenkins, Ryan
description of by father of as "a wonderful young man, a thoughtful man" who would never have killed a woman and mutilated her body and fled and committed suicide if not for the corrupting influence of Hollywood on
Larry King conducts a predictably god-awful interview will we ever be rid of this guy? with the woman responsible for the casting of
Kennedy, Senator Ted
succumbing of to brain cancer at the age of 77 prompts comedy writer Nell Scovell to observe, "At least [he] lived long enough to see the cause of his life reduced to lies and misconceptions," and prompts others to do other things
KFC
"Double Down" sandwich being test-marketed by places bacon, cheese and sauce between two fried chicken filets
Los Angeles Times
correction "The Prime-Time TV grid in Thursday's Calendar section mistakenly listed MTV's Jackass show on the MSNBC cable schedule at 7 and 10 p.m. where instead MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann should have been listed" is offered by
McCain, Senator John
attempt of to quench thirst in public goes amusingly awry
statement by that Obama "respects the Constitution" and is "sincere in his beliefs" evokes hostile reaction from town-hall crowd
McCaughey, Betsy
devastating interrogation of by Jon Stewart leaves viewers to imagine how little damage the Sunday-morning network poobahs would have inflicted on
methamphetamine
new "shake-and-bake" method for production of
Microsoft
black man's head is replaced by white man's head in ad on Polish website of
Monroe, Marilyn
crypt above crypt of goes back on the market after winner of eBay auction withdraws $4,602,100 bid "because of the paying problem"
Nemazee, Hassan
arrest of on a charge of committing $74 million bank fraud
Obama, President Barack
Jon Voight wonders if "a civil war in our own country" is being created by
list of pet peeves of includes things like people who talk too much at meetings, schedulers who leave no time for a workout and makeup artists who "constantly want to powder my nose and forehead" but, infuriatingly, does not include opposition party members who spit on every futilely conciliatory gesture by
Palin, Sarah
addiction of to quitting goes unchecked as once again this is like, what, the fourth time now? a speaking engagement is bailed on at the last minute by along with a denial that it had ever been accepted by
terrible television program featuring delusional paranoid ravings is enthusiastically recommended by
Penn, Mark
Wall Street Journal decides to retain as columnist despite efforts of p.r. company run by to use column by to recruit clients for because "we're pretty sure that it's going to stop"
Pitt, Brad
pot-smoking of is blamed by Angelina Jolie on guess who?
Rammel, Rex
Idaho Democrats are advised by to "take a deep breath and relax" because despite comment by about eagerness of to purchase license to hunt the President "we're not going to go out and hunt Obama"
Rangel, Representative Charles
at least half a million more dollars in 2007 income is suddenly remembered by
Republican National Committee
fear-mongering survey sent out by contains the question, "It has been suggested that ... GOP voters might be discriminated against for medical treatment in a Democrat-imposed health-care-rationing system. Does this possibility concern you?"
spokesperson for concedes that survey question was "inartfully worded"
Sandler, Adam
discovery by that acting as opposed to just naturally behaving like a jerk is "a lot of work"
Sanford, Governor Mark
unintentionally amusing catalog copy promoting no-longer-upcoming book by
Stark, Representative Pete
"Blue Dog" Democrats opposed to health-care reform are referred to by as "brain dead"
stupidity
Occidental College is offering a course in
swine flu
two million Americans could be hospitalized this winter because of or they could not be, who knows?
Terry, Randall
macabre antiabortion protest by features the stabbing of baby dolls
texting while driving
graphic film demonstrating the consequences of should be mandatory viewing for any morons who engage in
Today
reporter for tells story about New Jersey floods while paddling a canoe in 1-ft.-deep water
Vadum, Matthew
exposé by of Obama's plan to "desecrate 9/11" by turning the day into a "National Day of Service that helps the left" instead of keeping it just the way it is, thank you very much, as "a 'day of fear' that helps Republicans"
waterboarding
description of in CIA report as "poignant"
The Who
new musical about aging baby-boomer generation Floss is forthcoming from